DBS is on my mind. I am slowly inching towards the deep brain stimulation. Everyone I speak with has encouraging words. I MAY BE SCARED. I MAY HAVE ANXIETY. It's freakin' brain surgery. Who wouldn't have anxiety or be afraid? I have anxiety getting my teeth cleaned in the dentist office.
This is MY CHANCE TO LIVE AGAIN. I want to explore places and experience things I have been thinking about since Parkinson's put my life on hold. I know DBS is not a cure and does not slow down progression. I'm still hoping for a cure, and reversal of damage, a repair of dopamine receptors and transmitters and I don't want to sit in a pool of my own urine waiting for my demise. This sure seems like a lifeline and I'm ready to live, again.
It's funny the things that go on in the brain, recently I met up with a red tail hawk and had a sudden boost in courage. Is the hawk my spirit animal? Maybe. Did I have the courage all along and was my brain filled with so much noise I couldn't see the path, not to mention the goal. Maybe.
For now I'll give the hawk credit for showing me the path and giving me courage to follow the path to my chance to live again. I also want to thank those of you who i met in support groups for sharing your own experiences.
More of my thoughts and apprehension on DBS as I meet with doctors and counselors.
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