I'm hesitant to share that I have PD with people. Most or all of my relatives know, a few neighbors and a few friends.
The worst reaction is when friends drop me from their lives like I'm dead or contagious. Others range from tears, hugs, articles (so many articles), to dumb shit like, "oh okay" as if I said I just stubbed my toe. Best response was someone I hardly know, "So sorry, if you need a hand with anything, do not hesitate to call. I mean it."
I slowed down telling friends, can't handle the dumb or disappointing responses. My advice is try not to personalize dumb reactions if you share your diagnosis. It is hard but so is this illness. I want to hang out, even if I have to sit down, don't speak much and struggle with things.
i miss the change of venue, walks, sunshine. I miss seeing friends, feeling wanted / included, a feeling of value for my smart ideas.
Before I told people, even before my diagnosis maybe, I thought it was just stress or something like that. I made a GoFundMe page with the fantasy a billionaire would hear my pleas and help. I still could us a few hundred thousand, send those wealthy friends to my gofundme.
Okay I am not waiting for a box of gold bars to show up, and while 3 or 4 hundred thousand would cut down stress, it wouldn't cure me. I need to get motivated and shake off the self pity for compassion and understanding. Start walking again, find a slow beginner yoga group, eating better, etc.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment